10. Gloom – What a great way to start off this dumbest-looking Pokémon list. Gloom looks like it has serious damage to its cerebellum. Perhaps the only Pokémon that looks like it is affected by all the statuses (Paralysis, Confusion, Poison, Sleep) all the time. Half the time you forget to put it into battle because you thought it was already fainted.
9. Diglett – The last thing I want a Pokémon to be modeled after is a bowel movement, and that is precisely what you ended up giving me.
8. Weepinbell – Talk about failed design. Weepinbell is supposed to be a flower or something, but instead it looks like a condom. A yellow condom with leaves on the sides (for her pleasure).
7. Voltorb – It’s a Poké Ball… with eyes. I guess the creators were one Pokémon short.
6. Jynx – Oh Jynx, you truly are the racist shot in the world of Pokémon. I don’t even know what to say about Jynx. It’s just an overall terrible Pokémon. It’s a Pokémon modeled after a woman. It’s essentially a Gastly in a dress with a wig on. Has anyone else noticed that Jynx, Gastly, and Cloyster all have the same face? Because I definitely have. You can’t fool me Pokémon creators.
5. Muk – This Pokémon is literally a pile of crap. Muk is a pile of purple crap. The only reason I chose Muk over Grimer is because Muk shares a stronger resemblance to what dogs leave in the yard. I imagine the designers took a while on this one.
4. Ditto – Ditto is the same as Muk but with even less effort put into its creation. Ditto is just another purple blob with even less detail and a face that looks like it was draw on by a preschooler. Look at the eyes. They are merely dots. Look at the mouth. It’s just nothingness. Everyone knows Ditto is only good at being the sex slave for every Pokémon in your storage system.
3. Porygon – I bet you didn’t even remember Porygon being a Pokémon until just now. Porygon is so stupid. It looks like someone tried to sculpt a dog in a YMCA art class and then gave it a bad paint job to top it off.
2. Dragonite – I’m aware that this is one of a lot of people’s favorite Pokémon, but for a dragon, Dragonite looks so dumb. Dragonite looks like it belongs in Dragon Tales (Maybe it started in Dragon Tales, got lost in the channels, and ended up in Pokémon?). What kind of Dragon is fat? Dragons are supposed to be beast and burning stuff. The only thing that Dragonite wishes it could burn is a few calories. Also, look at its wings. How is this fat dragon going to get through the air with those tiny wings? It just doesn’t make sense. Oh yeah, and I’m pretty sure it’s head was modeled after Homer Simpson’s. Look at its picture. It’s waving… Dragons don’t wave.
1. Exeggcute – EGGS?!?!?! You have got to be kidding me. Catching Pokémon has officially become grocery shopping. Stupid stupid stupid. Also, this Pokémon is actually made up of multiple creatures. It’s a group of one Pokémon. Does that make sense? I don’t think a singular thing can be multiple things. Exeggcute is creating a rift in the Pokémon space-time continuum.
